Goldfish at the Lord's Table

I'll level with you. Our Sunday Church service is quite the endurance test. Sure, getting to the pew is a breeze; it's staying put that's the real crusade. My husband and I act as strategic generals, plotting our sit-tight strategy every week.

Snacks - Check!

Playdoh- Check!

Sensory Fidgets-Check!

Books- Check!

We prepare our "busy arsenal," with the goal to remain seated in the pew from confession until the bells ring. However, our 3-and-a-half-year-old son frequently has a different agenda. Our Sunday service reality often involves taking frequent breaks to sprint up and down the church hallways or to blow bubbles in the vacant mothering room, resulting in us, as parents, grasping fragments of the sermon while passing the ceiling intercom system.

One recent Sunday was particularly rough, leaving me approaching the communion table feeling defeated and exhausted. My son, however, with his bright and rambunctious demeanor, skipped up to communion with two fistfuls of goldfish crackers, ready for the action and happy to be moving around. While I partook in Christ's body and blood, our son openly expressed to the entire congregation and the pastor that he also wanted to partake as the wine was being passed around. As the communion rested on my tongue, I sat in the chaos we had brought as a family to the Lord's Table and was overwhelmed by a deep sense of gratitude that God has blessed my husband and me with our son, whose birth story has led our family back to our faith.

Church services seldom match my expectations of still hands and attentive listening. However, when kneeling at His table, God reassured me that He will always meet me where I am.

Every single time.

Motherhood is chaotic, selfless, and virtuous. In that moment, God illuminated the immense blessing this chapter of life is to me. Keep showing up for your family and God, and let the unnecessary expectations melt away. You are His children, goldfish crumbs and all.