When I launched KM Faith and Art, people expected the artistry, but the “God” aspect caught some off guard. Sharing my personal journey as I walk in God’s word and purpose invites a level of vulnerability I didn’t anticipate. Some have asked me directly, “So, tell me about this ‘God blog’ you’re writing.” Each time, I feel an inward hesitation—my insecurities flood in, and I struggle to articulate just how profoundly God’s word has impacted my life.
When I try to explain, I don’t always respond from a place of conviction. Instead, I start worrying—do they think I’m trying to be a “goodie two shoes,” or do they wonder if I’m even qualified to talk about my faith? Am I the “right” kind of person to speak about God’s greatness? Can I bring God into my life, both in my profession and privately, without hesitation?
What qualifies me to do this?!
Qualifications are central to our lives, yet we often overlook how God shapes and redirects us through the trials we face when we fall short.
One of my early lessons on qualifications and setbacks came in my career. After I graduated law school, I spent months preparing for the Illinois Bar Exam. Fueled by coffee and surrounded by mountains of flashcards, I studied nonstop. Knowing I wasn’t a great test-taker, I pushed myself even harder. When exam day arrived, I could barely focus, consumed instead by the overwhelming weight of what failure could mean for my future.
When the results came in later that year, the words “I regret to inform you…” sent me into a freefall. I was gripped by financial and emotional fear, unable to get out of bed for weeks.
I had no idea that this unmet qualification would become a turning point in my life. I couldn’t comprehend through the paralyzing fear and disappointment, but God was directing me toward another path, one that would provide me with the opportunity to share all my gifts in an alternative way. God molded my “failure” into a gift. Even in times when I felt completely lost, He has guided me in both my professional and personal life.
“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” —Deuteronomy 31:8
When I became pregnant, I approached those nine months like I would any test, devouring books on newborn care, breastfeeding, nutrition, play, and remedies for common ailments. With each chapter, I cobbled together my own guide, hoping all the knowledge would make the transition into motherhood seamless.
Three months after my son was born, I found myself lying on the floor beside him as he coo ’ed, immersed in his toys. I was completely sleep-deprived, isolated due to COVID-19, and deep in the grip of postpartum depression. I remember thinking I wasn’t qualified of the title of “mother.” It felt painfully like the moment I learned I’d failed the Bar Exam. I had prepared relentlessly for both—the bar exam and motherhood—only to feel like I had failed miserably. In one of my darkest moments, I remember with heartbreaking clarity thinking that if I took my life at that exact moment, I would at least see my son smiling, and he would have given me more I could ever give him as a mother.
Even now, as I edit these words, I find it impossible to read the sentence without tears and a deep heaviness in my chest.
I was profoundly wrong.
Becoming a wife and mother was and is one of the greatest blessings I have ever received.
Mothering through the isolation of COVID was a struggle. Much like my journey after the Bar Exam, God once again blessed me with a sense of purpose amidst the pain. Through podcasting, I’ve been able to cultivate a community where I can share my vulnerabilities with my co-host and connect with other moms navigating the same chapter of life. Looking back, I see how God used that season to shape me and bless me with gifts I never could have imagined.
Just as my career, motherhood, and faith journey intertwine, God has crafted a symphony of purpose in my life, with every qualification—or the absence of one—playing its vital role.
So, when I ask myself what qualifies me to share my journey with God in this very public blog, the answer lies in the very things that have broken and remolded me. When I wrestle with this, I remember:
I am imperfect. I am unqualified.…But I am also His.
If I waited to feel qualified to write this blog, it would never see the light of day. Instead, I pray that my vulnerabilities can inspire those who are hesitant to share their journey with God and to boldly live out the purpose He has designed for them. My prayer is that this space encourages others to step into their truth and walk fearlessly in faith, both professionally as well as personally.
“Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” – Exodus 4:12
Kate Morthland
